Avoidance- The Result of Social Anxiety; why is it getting worse?

Social anxiety has a gradient: that is, the closer you get to the dreaded event, the higher the anxiety. For instance, someone says, "Hey! Come to this party we're having in 3 months."

You say, "Okay." As the time grows closer your anxiety increases, and you may land up not going at all. We move into avoidance - whether it be going to that party, going to the gym, expressing an opinion at a meeting, inviting someone to get-together. That's what all the techniques are about: to reduce the punishment enough that you'll give that dreaded event a try. But if you don't know the techniques to decrease the anxiety and just plunge in, you'll accidentally reinforce the punishment. That's how it can get worse.

The adage "practice makes perfect" only works if you are diminishing the punishment, otherwise you're reinforcing the anxiety. One client said, "I'm getting worse as I get older - not better. I thought this would go away with age."

That only happens if you reinforce the attempt and apply all the methodology to take out the punishment of the event.