Sunday, May 24, 2015

THE LONG HOLIDAY WEEKEND

Unscheduled, unstructured time can be brutal for the isolated individual. Some products of this isolation are:
  • Overeating
  • drinking
  • drugs
  • ruminating
So get up! Brush your teeth, wash your face, get out, call someone to chat. Move. Do. Something is better than nothing.

Relationships with people have different levels; think of 3 circles- a center-small circle- that's where our intimate friends are- we're lucky if we have 3 or 4; these are the people with whom we are truly ourselves-- warts and all.. Then there is the intermediate circle- our utilitarian friendships- we do things with these people- work out at the gym, work at the office, attend classes with us,  members of clubs we belong to.
Then there's the outside circle- these are people we may never have had a conversation with- we may greet and acknowledge, and that's it. The postal clerk, the grocery clerk, the person we pass while walking,  the bartender, the receptionist; we may greet- do business and leave.

On these long brutal weekends- even that outside circle can get you out of ruminating in your own head. Dialogue with yourself can go on and on- you're gnawing on your own internal processes. Coming out of that is not unlike coming out of a hermit-hole; it's hard to get out. It's hard to get back to interacting - BUT- it will pull you out of that fog.

So- take a shower- go buy something- greet the salesperson- their name tag will be their name- no one will put on a name that's not theirs.  Say, "Hi, Mary" - how are you?" Expand it if you want to- ask something topical: "What did you do for fun this long weekend?" Smile- it's good practice to look disarming.

And PRAISE YOURSELF. FOR THE ATTEMPT- FOR GETTING THERE-
FOR TRYING TO MAKE EYE CONTACT- FOR YOUR 3 WORDS. HONOR THE ATTEMPT.
Next time I'll go into the mathematical error we make:  I stood there and didn't say anything- I'm an idiot- I'm weak- I'm so stupid. I'm just no good- I never will be. Next-HOW TO HIRE A GOOD COACH- YOURSELF.

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WHY ARE YOU SO QUIET?


Most of the time we are passive participants;
watchers and listeners of our computers, our televisions, cell-phones, movie theaters.

Then with little practice we are supposed to talk and express ourselves articulately on job interviews, meeting new people at work, starting to date, selling our business plans.

These are the most intimidating situations to begin with, when we're out of practice, or never had any in the first place and where we feel we're being scrutinized.

This is my area of expertise; I merge the structure of the speech communication with anxiety reducing methods.

I have a BA in Sociology, and taught for 10 years in a behavioral/cognitive clinic at the University of Washington, where I coached people on how to make changes in communication skills and health habits.This was a pioneering clinic and I represented the clinic through the UW Speakers Bureau on radio and television shows, and did many corporate workshops.

Public speaking totally intimidated me, and I had no experience. I had accidentally developed a career in the very field I hated; public speaking.

No matter how discouraged you are, I can help you.



Joan6466@aol.com
Tel. No. 360 697 6168
Skype: joan.walz