The Australian "speech defect" therapist, Lionel Logue, who developed a friendship with the stuttering King George VI used methodologies extremely useful for shyness and social nervousness applicable in today's world.
Notice how he practiced breathing deeply? Taking a deep breath is important for shyness. It wasn't the only strategy used, but you will eventually be helped by this relaxation exercise. It will not relax you in the beginning, but it will work as a cue to kick in other useful techniques. Also, the more nervous you are, the more likely you're taking shallow, panting breaths.
Did you see how the King's speech was written out? As a shyness coach, I observe that because of the conditional value of perfectionism - (I only have value if I am perfect)- clients won't use notes when giving a speech because they believe they should be able to ad lib. That's an unfair expectation.
An encouraging note: although King George's speech impediment could be traced to poor child-rearing practices tantamount to abuse, I rarely find this with clients who are shy. More on this with the next post.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!
It's fun to have a fresh start and begin again, isn't it. Ask me any questions you'd like- I taught classes in personal development at the University of Washington in the Dept. of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences- and I love brainstorming with you. I taught Overcoming Shyness and Social Skills classes, Assertiveness Training, Conflict Resolution, Understanding Human Territorial Behavior, Stress Management and Relaxation Training, and many other courses.
I am particularly interested in lonliness and social isolation because of their health consequences; we're social beings with social brains, and we don't do well health-wise when we are alone too much. There's a difference between voluntary "I want some time alone" and being alone by default, which means it's too much pressure and stress to be with people. The health effect associated with isolation is statistically large and dramatic. Individuals "with the highest baseline scores for loneliness were also the ones most likely to be admitted to a nursing home" in later life.(Loneliness; Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick)
Good for you for starting to think about this! If I can go out and socialize wearing an industrial respirator (I have acute allergies to perfumes, etc.), I can help you get started. I have been socially phobic in my past; I'm not anymore, and I'd rather have acute allergies than to suffer the anguish of social terror--if that gives you some idea of hard it is to live with the handicap of severe shyness. And- it is not permanent. Ask me any questions you'd like. Happy 2011!
I am particularly interested in lonliness and social isolation because of their health consequences; we're social beings with social brains, and we don't do well health-wise when we are alone too much. There's a difference between voluntary "I want some time alone" and being alone by default, which means it's too much pressure and stress to be with people. The health effect associated with isolation is statistically large and dramatic. Individuals "with the highest baseline scores for loneliness were also the ones most likely to be admitted to a nursing home" in later life.(Loneliness; Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick)
Good for you for starting to think about this! If I can go out and socialize wearing an industrial respirator (I have acute allergies to perfumes, etc.), I can help you get started. I have been socially phobic in my past; I'm not anymore, and I'd rather have acute allergies than to suffer the anguish of social terror--if that gives you some idea of hard it is to live with the handicap of severe shyness. And- it is not permanent. Ask me any questions you'd like. Happy 2011!
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